One Question Is Being Asked About Millie Bobby Brown’s Engagement So We Spoke to An Expert

2 years ago

The internet had mixed reactions to the news that “Stranger Things” star, Millie Bobby Brown, was engaged to boyfriend, Jake Bongiovi.

While some couldn’t stop gushing over her beautiful classic engagement ring, others were concerned for the 19-year-old actress, saying that she’s “definitely too young to be getting engaged or married.”

Social media users rushed to the comments section to share their thoughts.

“Unpopular opinion but she’s way too young to be engaged. But age 19, you don’t even know who you are yet.” One user wrote.

Another, said: “Look, they seem cute, but she’s 19 right? They’re too young to be getting engaged, WTF?”

“I still think she’s too young at the age of 19 to be engaged, but if it makes them happy, who am I or us to judge?” a third user asked.

In a world that is so focused on female empowerment and independence, where we’re moving away from the traditional expectations of getting married young and “settling down”, this conversation is thought-provoking.

“Whenever I see people having very strong opinions about something, I know it’s due to them feeling triggered in some way by that thing they’re commenting on,” eharmony psychologist and relationship expert, Sharon Draper, tells POPSUGAR Australia.

“The concept of marriage has lost popularity amongst the masses, because we see that marriage isn’t always forever. Many of us have grown up with our parents divorcing so we wouldn’t place as much value onto it as we used to.

“We also see modern relationships shifting milestones and what types of commitment tie a couple together – for example living together, purchasing property, and having children – these all used to happen after marriage but now they more often than not are prior to people tying the knot.”

The internet has a huge role to play in our evolving opinions on things like marriage. Where we once looked to those close to us, those in our immediate circle, in our communities and culture, we now have access to basically everyone in the world. And that includes some pretty blunt opinions.

It can be amazing to have perspective, but also a little overwhelming too. How are we supposed to make our own decisions when we have so many people’s opinions swirling around our screens at all times?

“People have opinions and make judgements easily, so it’s natural for people to comment on things they see even if they don’t have all the information necessary to make a judgement,” says Draper.

However, she also reasons that science shows us to mature closer to 25, meaning that 19 could actually be a little young to be making life-changing decisions – like getting married.

“Some 19-year-olds can be very mature,” she says, “and if the couple have been in a relationship for a few years, it’s likely that they’ve had to work through some difficulties and have still pulled through.”

“I’d focus more on the individual couple to see if marriage early on is an option. I’d look for signs showing that they are working on their own emotional wounds and that they are able to communicate and resolve problems effectively.

“We know that relationships bring up triggers for us so it’s imperative that all couples are actively working through their childhood emotional wounds in order for their relationship to be a healthy one.”

So, is Millie Bobby Brown too young to get married?

Well… it’s kind of up to her.

While Draper would ultimately encourage people to have more life experiences before making this formal commitment, she’d also suggest people to explore their reasons for getting married.

eharmony’s recent survey results show that 43 percent of the 2,000 Aussies that took part don’t want to get married, while 28 percent are unsure.

So perhaps, there’s a little bias here. If we’re living in a modern society, where it’s the coolest thing to be single and thriving and we’re moving away from tradition — perhaps we’re missing the value in marriage, for the next step of a relationship.

Regardless of how you feel on the matter, it comes down to the individual couple and their experiences in the world both separately and together.

And, while Draper can’t deny that it’s natural “keyboard warriors” to throw around uneducated opinions, she’s also an advocate for taking your time when it comes to considering marriage.

“If you feel a sense of urgency in wanting to get married, you need to explore your deeper reasons for this,” she says.

“Many of us women believe we aren’t good enough until we get a proposal. This isn’t true and it will only meet that unmet need superficially, not sustainably. We need to know we are enough as we are with or without marriage.”

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