Is Back to School “Mum-titlement” Dividing Your Workplace?

We’re all used to the scramble for annual leave during school holidays. As frazzled parents do their best to eke out their holidays to juggle six weeks of no school their colleagues are usually understanding and happy to switch their time off to pre or post school holidays when things are quieter – and usually a lot cheaper (aka shoulder season). What happens though, when this time off spills over into September and parents want or need more time off to settle kids into a new school or new class? Is expecting time off during the school holidays and September a case of “mum-titlement”? And is there a solution that keeps everyone happy? We speak to women on both sides of the issue.

Isabel 28, Works in Publishing

I work in an all-female team and we have about a 50/50 mix of mums and not. I’d always expect that parents are more likely to want, and be given, July and August dates off to fit with school holidays. I’m not saying that’s necessarily right, I’ve previously been in a relationship with a teacher for example and I’ve wanted that time too, but on the whole I think most people accept this is how things are.

All of my mum colleagues have taken at least two weeks off this summer holiday and now quite a few have also nabbed time during the first two weeks of September so they can settle their kids back into school or nursery. When are those of us without kids supposed to get a summer holiday? To me it just feels really entitled to block out all of summer and no one ever says no to parents in my workplace. When I worked in retail you either got Christmas or New Year off and I think it should be the same for this! To be honest it makes me think about leaving my industry because it’s so heavily female, my friends who work in more male-dominated industries like sport or finance don’t have this issue. What are the dads doing?

Daisy, 41, Works in Transport

Having some time off in the first two weeks of September is vital for anyone like me who has covered the school holidays whilst parents took that time. I’m exhausted and summer feels like such a slog because we’re always people down as parents all want that time off. If I didn’t have a break at the end of it I wouldn’t be able to keep going.

I also can’t afford to go abroad so I at least want the chance of good weather and if I leave it until late September or October then that’s not going to happen. I’m a line manager and it’s non-negotiable to my team that I have my time off as soon as the kids go back to school – they take precedence in July and August and I do in September, that feels perfectly fair to me. Parents made a lifestyle choice to have kids and I’ve made one not to, end of.

Sarah 38, Works in Digital Marketing

I’ve got three kids and I actually think the school holidays are too long and that’s what’s causing this problem. My children range from five to 13, so they’ve all got different needs when it’s back to school time and I have no choice but to take some time off. If I didn’t I’d be “unofficially” starting late or ducking out and I don’t think that’s fair on my colleagues either. If the school holidays were only a month it’d give everyone more time to spread out their time off.

In an ideal world I’d split back to school duties with my husband and a few colleagues have asked why I can’t do this but the kids don’t behave as well for him and I’m not making life hell for my whole family because people can’t wait an extra week for their holiday.

Kate, Works in Media

I appreciate it’s annoying for people to not be able to take the time off they want but I’m not exactly laying on a beach. This year my four-year-old is starting school and my ten-month-old is starting nursery. They both have settling in sessions for this and they all fall in the first two weeks of September. There’s no way I’d be able to juggle this without taking annual leave. Starting school or even starting a new school year is a milestone moment for most parents, a close friend of mine is a teacher who can’t get the time off and she’s devastated.

I do think colleagues without kids should show some compassion and let their colleagues with kids have time off in September and book their holidays at the end of the month. I know parents get priority for school holidays too, so maybe it is selfish of me to also demand September, but remember we also don’t have the luxury of going away outside of school holidays.

Over to the Expert

With both parents and childfree colleagues having their different but equally valid reasons for wanting annual leave at the same time how do we reach a solution that feels fair and does anyone have more of a right to annual leave than anyone else?

Award-winning business mentor for women Michelle Leivars says it’s all about communication and making sure workplaces treat everyone equally. “It’s important to have open and honest conversations in the workplace about annual leave,” she says. “Everyone needs to feel like they are getting fair treatment and only by having the same rules for everyone can we limit the chances of conflict arising.

“Employers have a responsibility to retain equality in all circumstances, yes, employees with children often have a need to be able to be flexible when it comes to September, however the same flexibility needs to be warranted to colleagues who do not have children. In lots of cases childfree colleagues don’t mind not taking time off during school holidays (it’s often more expensive for a start) but no one should feel disadvantaged in the workplace whether they have a family or not.”

Jo Hoare is a writer and editor specialising in beauty, wellness, health and women’s lifestyle topics. She is also the author of seven popular culture books.