In 2015, shortly after my eldest was born, I walked into my local WIC office for a lactation course. (WIC stands for Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children.) I sat down, held my baby over my aching chest, and waited for class to start. A woman came in and addressed all the parents sitting there: “Alright, ladies! Welcome!” I squirmed in my seat, feeling like an imposter.
At the time, I had never even heard the term “nonbinary.” I grew up in a conservative, rural, religious environment and was unaware of much of the LGBTQIA+ community. Even so, I knew who I was, and I had been experiencing gender dysphoria since childhood. So, although I knew I wanted to feed my child with my body, calling it “breastfeeding” always felt uncomfortable to me.
Similarly, walking into female-specific spaces such as WIC felt terrible. It was not because I thought having safe and empowering spaces for women was unimportant; those spaces are essential. But it felt disingenuous for me, as a transmasculine person, to be there. Despite struggling with latching, chafing, and cluster feeding in the future, I never took another lactation course or sought further assistance after that day.
Although I did not receive more lactation and feeding support, I did try to find ways of easing my gender dysphoria in this area. For example, I preferred to use the word “nursing,” avoiding “breastfeeding” as much as possible. It got me through the discomfort until I had weaned my children.
Years later – once I transitioned and embraced my nonbinary identity – I was delighted to learn there are better non-dysphoric alternatives to discussing lactation and infant nourishment that do not rely on gendered language. One such term is chestfeeding.
Experts Featured in This Article
Laura Howell is an IBCLC-certified lactation consultant and doula based in San Francisco. She runs the breastfeeding and chestfeeding support website, Woven.
What Is Chestfeeding?
Chestfeeding encompasses parents across the gender spectrum.
Chestfeeding is the process by which parents feed their children with their bodies. It includes milk produced from one’s body via lactation – either as a result of pregnancy or induced in non-birthing parents – as well as using supplemental nursing devices that provide either formula or donated breast milk. It is a more inclusive term to the feminized alternative “breastfeeding” and supports individuals who experience gender dysphoria surrounding their chest tissue. Chestfeeding encompasses parents across the gender spectrum and recognizes their roles as parents who feed and nourish their children with their bodies without relegating them to traditional feminine roles such as “mother.”
In learning more about chestfeeding, I was fortunate enough to speak with lactation consultant Laura Howell, who owns and operates Woven, a breastfeeding and chestfeeding support website. With inclusivity in mind, Howell tends to use both chestfeeding and breastfeeding as side-by-side terms.
“I know for me – growing up in the early 2000s – that being bisexual in the queer community was very alienating, and I was not made to feel like I fit in either place,” Howell tells PS. “So I hope that I can be a place where people come and [feel] that I am trying to make them feel included.”
Why Does the Language Difference Matter?
In a 2016 study published through BioMedCentral by La Leche leader Trevor MacDonald and others, research showed that a lack of awareness and education surrounding trans identities and gender dysphoria created less supportive environments for transmasculine and gender nonconforming patients who had chosen to chestfeed their children.
“From the interviews, we see a distinction between gender dysphoria rooted in the individual’s feelings about their body versus gender dysphoria triggered by social interactions,” the study reads. “Care providers and others are capable of causing gender dysphoria in a patient by misgendering them. Conversely, care providers can affirm a patient’s gender identity through appropriate language, respectful touch, and other intentional actions, and thus alleviate distress associated with gender dysphoria.”
By equating feeding a child with one’s body with femininity and womanhood and continuing to use socially gendered terminology, healthcare providers and lactation community members are missing out on an opportunity to show respect and support for their trans patients and peers.
At the same time, authenticity is a must. Howell advises lactation consultants who are not familiar with trans clients to make it evident that they are not prepared to provide additional support in affirming trans clients’ gender identity through their body-feeding journey.
“I definitely have clients who resonate more with [chestfeeding], and I want to make sure everyone feels seen,” Howell says. “And I’m very careful not to say, ‘Hey, all lactation consultants should say this,’ because if you’re not ready to put in the work to be available for those clients – to be able to see them in a way that meets them where they are and what they need – then you probably shouldn’t. You should actually make it visible from the outside that you aren’t ready to see those clients.”
Education in trans-affirming support for chestfeeding is crucial if lasting semantic change is to occur. Additionally, there is a need for more education and research into trans healthcare in matters of pregnancy and postpartum care, especially surrounding mental health; research into this field could open up possibilities for language changes that would uplift people of all gender identities.
Howell also suggests another term with great affirming ability: “Some people are really identifying with ‘chestfeeding,’ but other people are identifying with ‘bodyfeeding,’ and so I think that more and more people – if they’re going to use just one word – are using ‘bodyfeeding.'” Howell adds, “I think it has a lot of advantages no matter who you are.”
Some find “breastfeeding” and “chestfeeding” uncomfortable terms because they reduce the care of a child to one specific body part. “Bodyfeeding,” on the other hand, emphasizes the person feeding and the bonding process of sharing skin-to-skin nutrition with one’s child.
Final Thoughts
Wherever they fall on the gender spectrum, parents should feel comfortable and supported when nourishing their children. I would have undoubtedly have felt more secure and willing to seek support if the process of feeding my children had been less dysphoric.
Health care providers, family, and friends can all do their part to make genderqueer, nonbinary, and transmasculine parents feel welcome in lactation and nursing by using chestfeeding and other inclusive terminology when referring to child nutrition and care.
Related: Trans Men Are Being Fetishized More Than Ever on the Dating Scene
Beni Tobin is a nonbinary writer specializing in poetry and queer parenthood. They have written parenting articles for Motherly and The Bump, published two poetry chapbooks with Bottlecap Press, and been featured in queer anthologies and independent magazines.
