Though they may not happen as often as you’d like, family dinners are a great way to maintain connection with your loved ones. Similarly to the concept of a “living room family,” sitting together for dinner can create an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Whether you want to ditch the small talk with your parents or create a routine for your little ones, family dinners can be the perfect opportunity to do just that.
But planning what you’ll eat for dinner is the easy part. Coming up with family conversation starters that aren’t “how was your day?” and “can you pass the salt?” is the hard part. Of course, you don’t want anything to seem forced, but coming up with some family questions and dinner conversation starters ahead of time can help bring a little bit more personality to your Sunday roasts.
To help, adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, and licensed social worker Jillian Amodio share their favorite family conversation starters below. If you want your little ones to answer your questions with more than a “yes” or “no” at the dinner table, read on.
Experts Featured in This Article
Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a treatment program for teens and adults struggling with their mental health.
Jillian Amodio, LMSW, is a licensed social worker at Waypoint Wellness Center, a center that offers therapy and medication management.
How to Create Engaging Family Conversation
Before you start asking your family rapid-fire questions, create an environment where everyone feels comfortable opening up, especially children. To do this, Dr. Fenkel suggests kicking off dinner with a story about how your day went, making sure to share if something happened that didn’t go as planned. “This signals to your child that it’s OK to be honest and vulnerable,” she says.
You’ll also want to avoid the conversation turning into an interrogation. “Asking rapid-fire or overly specific questions can make kids feel interrogated and less likely to share,” Dr. Fenkel says. Instead, she adds, be patient with silence. “Children often need time to gather their thoughts, especially after a busy day.”
At the end of the day, the goal should be to make the conversation as natural as possible. But if the conversation doesn’t come quickly at first, don’t be discouraged. “The most important thing is to stay consistent. Children will remember you are always there to listen, even on quieter days,” Dr. Fenkel adds.
For family conversations that aren’t centered around children, Amodio suggests asking family members open-ended questions. “The best questions encourage storytelling, spark laughter, or bring out meaningful reflections,” Amodio says. “It’s about creating a space where everyone feels valued, heard, and included.”
To do this, put your phone away (and avoid any other distractions). “Eye contact and attentive listening goes a long way,” Amodio says. She also adds that it’s important to be free of judgment and pressure. “If differing opinions come up, approach them with curiosity rather than debate,” Amodio says. “A simple, ‘That’s interesting, can you tell me more?’ can keep things positive.”
The Best Family Conversation Starters
According to Dr. Fenkel and Amodio, here are some easy conversation starters to bring to the dinner table. Feel free to use these as they are below or change them to better suit your family’s dynamics.
Family Conversation Starters For Children
- What’s something you’re proud of from today?
- Was there a moment today when you felt frustrated or stuck? What helped you through it?
- Who were you able to help today?
- What was the bravest thing you did today?
- What was your favorite part of lunch?
- What’s something that made you laugh today?
- What do you wish your teacher knew about you?
- What activity did you do during recess today?
- What superpower do you wish you had? Why?
- What’s an activity that you haven’t tried before but you want to?
General Family Conversation Starters
- Was there anything surprising about your day?
- If you could design your perfect day tomorrow, what would it look like?
- What’s something you’re grateful for this year?
- What’s a memory or tradition that makes you smile?
- If you could travel anywhere or try something new next year, what would it be?
- What’s a piece of advice or a lesson you’ve learned recently?
- What’s something you’re proud of from this past year?
- What’s a favorite book, movie, or show you’ve enjoyed recently?
- What’s something you’re looking forward to in the next few months?
- Tell me a story from your childhood.
As you work your way through this list, Amodio wants to remind you that conversation doesn’t have to be perfect. “It’s OK if conversations meander or if moments of silence arise – they can be just as meaningful,” she says. “The goal isn’t to impress or to have the ‘perfect’ dialogue but to enjoy the presence of the people around you.”
Related: Life on a Family Compound: Why Co-Living Is on the Rise
Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.
