Motherhood is full of sacrifices, from skipping a girl’s night out because you couldn’t secure a babysitter to forgoing a full night of sleep to calm your kid’s nightmares. From the moment a baby is born, the days of putting yourself first are often left far behind – and it’s often done in stride. But thanks to a new TikTok trend, millions of online users are taking a moment to recognize and show gratitude for the unsung heroes of parenthood.
“She Deserved the Purse” Meaning
The trend started when Denaesha Gonzalez noticed something out of place in a baby product aisle. Sitting nestled between the Infants’ Tylenol, baby lotion, diaper paste, and a Frida Baby Breathe Easy Kit was a glamorous purse that she presumed a mom left behind to instead buy a baby product she needed for her family. Gonzalez posted a video on TikTok shouting out that anonymous mother, declaring that “she deserved the purse.”
The caption reads, “To the Mother who chose themselves last, you deserve the world tonight and always.” The video has since amassed nearly 22 million views, with thousands of comments flooding in of moms sharing their own relatable experiences.
“I haven’t had my hair done in years. My nails done in years. My clothes come from Walmart. We can’t afford childcare. But my babies have what they need. One day, I’ll have my purse, just not today,” one user, @ak47thomas, commented. Another, @lifewithezra, commented, “Crying because at some point we’ve all been her.”
But one comment really captured the message behind Danaesha’s simple, yet meaningful 17-second video: “Crying cause it’s so much more [than] a purse, it’s a representation of all our sacrifices,” @giannabrielle03 wrote.
How “She Deserved the Purse” Inspired a Charitable Trend
Gonzalez’s video struck a chord with online creator Cecily Bauchmann, who reflected on the times she had to forgo certain things for herself after becoming a mother and felt inspired to perform an act of kindness and start a trend. During a recent trip to Target, she posted a TikTok showing her purchasing a $100 Target gift card, which she tucked between a box of baby diapers along with a handwritten note on the back of the receipt that read, “Hey! You deserve that special ‘you’ thing 🙂 You are amazing! xoxo!”
“I want to get some of my friends who are creators to do this as well, so let’s do it together,” she said before urging her “fellow mama creators” and others to join her anonymous pay it forward initiative that she dubbed “She Deserved The Purse.”
On the surface, it’s a pay-it-forward trend similar to paying for someone’s Starbucks drive-through order or leaving a large surprise tip to a service industry worker. But at its core, there’s a deeper message: parents deserve to give themselves some love, too.
In the weeks following the original video, well over 100 content creators have followed in Bauchmann’s footsteps, leaving money and gift cards hidden in the baby aisle at Target and other stores. While others, like Danielle (@deeeemarie), are handing it directly to other moms.
Before starting her career in social media full-time, Danielle worked in social services as a child support enforcement agent, where she often witnessed families struggling daily. “I always told myself that if I was in the position to help a family in need, that I would do it,” Danielle shared in a TikTok video before entering Walmart.
After buying a $100 Walmart gift card, she set out to find a specific mom she had seen carrying a car seat through the parking lot. Upon handing the gift card to the mother, you can hear her surprised response, continuously asking, “Seriously?” Danielle said, as the grateful mom asked for a hug, “Hopefully, you get something for yourself too. Thank you for being an amazing mom.”
While the original creator highlighted the sacrifices of mothers, Tommy Martin, MD, reminded everyone that all parents, including fathers, deserve recognition. “To all the parents out there sacrificing for their kiddos . . . YOU deserve the ‘purse,'” he captioned a video of himself placing $20 bills among baby products.
Though trends tend to come and go quickly, some have committed themselves to continuing this movement. “I only had $30 cash in my bag but I think we are going to do this every time we visit Walmart & Target from now on,” content creator Vidya Gopalan wrote in a caption. Similarly, YouTuber Abbie Herbert stuck $20 bills in baby products around Walmart and other stores and said on TikTok she’ll “be doing this every time I shop.
While time will reveal whether these creators follow their commitment, for now, people are hailing this as “the best trend” on the internet. So, amid the sea of more lighthearted “demure fall” and “Meg Ryan Autumn” videos, this trend serves as a reminder that there’s greater impact happening online, too.
Related: The “Postpartum Cliff”: A Phase We Don’t Discuss Enough
Jordana Comiter is a Florida-based freelance writer who loves writing about entertainment, wellness, and dating trends. Her work has appeared in PS, Women’s Health, People, and Business Insider, among others. She is a proud graduate of Tulane University and Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism.
