Madison*, 41, loves being a mom to her two kids. Until recently, she had been consulting her ob-gyn about having another child. But she changed her mind when former president Donald Trump was elected for a second term. “With my age – plus I already have two healthy kids – it’s too much of a risk with Trump in office,” she says.
Madison is one of many women now reconsidering having children following Trump’s win last week. With more states enacting abortion bans and a federal abortion ban proposed by the conservative policy initiative Project 2025, women feel it’s becoming riskier than ever to get pregnant. Indecision and grief are spreading rapidly among those who have planned on or considered having kids as the country grapples with Trump’s reelection.
It feels heartbreaking and unjust, especially since we finally had a mental picture of how our future as a family would look.
According to Keltie Maguire, a motherhood clarity coach, there was already a dramatic shift towards going child-free as extreme far-right politicians gained power across Europe and elsewhere. “What’s happening in the US is creating acceptance for radical views in other parts of the world,” she says. According to Maguire, the election highlights so many of the concerns that were already there. Since the election results were announced, Maguire has been getting messages and seeing comments from women who were already heavily leaning child-free and are now saying the decision has been made for them. Many are looking into sterilization or encouraging their partners to have vasectomies.
Motherhood coach Ann Davidman says that in the 33 years she has been helping people decide whether to become parents, this is the first time people feel terrified that they can die if they don’t get the healthcare they need: “It is truly a life-or-death situation with Trump becoming the next president.”
As for Madison, she’s putting her desires to expand her family aside due to the political climate. Because “we live in a more and more isolated world,” she’s made a conscious effort to show her kids the importance of community and found value in the thought of bringing another sibling into their lives. But things have changed.
Though she currently lives in a state where abortion is legal, she’s concerned a federal abortion ban would make state laws obsolete. If she got pregnant now, she fears these laws could go into place when Trump takes office in the new year. “Parenthood is an extremely personal and biological experience,” she says. “No one should interfere with that experience.”
Ky*, who’s queer and based in Pennsylvania, says that they and their partner have decided to forgo children altogether. “As someone in a same-sex relationship, we will need access to IVF,” they say. “We were planning to have my partner’s eggs retrieved and stored next year for when we are ready to conceive, but now likely will not do that because of the unknown under the Trump administration and Project 2025.” Beyond this, Ky and their partner worry their embryos will be legislated or face government interference, as was the case in Alabama, where the Supreme Court ruled that embryos created through IVF are people under state law.
Trump’s policies have significantly impacted same-sex and queer couples, worsening the barriers they previously faced in starting families. Before his administration, these couples already dealt with discrimination in adoption, limited access to fertility treatments, and insufficient legal protections. Under Trump, the rollback of LGBTQ+ rights intensified these challenges. As a result, some queer folks have decided to prioritize other legal protections over their desire to have children.
Sofi* and her partner, who’ve been married for two years and together for five, planned to have kids soon, but now, their main priority is estate planning to make sure their queer union is protected. Sofi would be the one to carry the pregnancy, but because she’s currently 35, she doesn’t want to wait until she’s 39 to start the process. “So it’s a no for now,” she says.
I don’t regret having my kids, but I feel a lot of guilt and sadness about it.
“It feels heartbreaking and unjust, especially since we finally had a mental picture of how our future as a family would look,” she says. “There’s so much uncertainty and unknown at this point and we just feel scared and angry.” She’s especially angry that some people will never have to think about these barriers and threats to their family. The stress of being queer in America without a child is already a lot, so they’ve decided to opt out.
For women like Madison and Nina*, who already have children, Trump’s reelection has only solidified their decision not to have any more kids. “I was pregnant with my first when Trump came into office the first time,” Nina says. “I really questioned my choice. Now I have two kids and I have so much grief for them that this is the direction their world is heading in. I once encouraged people to have kids and now I don’t. I don’t regret having my kids, but I feel a lot of guilt and sadness about it.”
When Trump first came into office, Nina struggled with what his presidency exposed about America. She believes he lifted the veil that said America is honest and has morals – and that we believe in equality and freedom. While she supports people having kids, she still wishes we could spare the next generation this “mess.”
As she puts it: “It’s not the type of place [I] would want to raise kids in, as the idea of having kids in an environment that does not support a healthy and safe existence doesn’t seem right.”
*Names have been changed for privacy
Related: I Love Being Child-Free, but Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Older?
Sara Radin is a writer and publicist based in Philadelphia. Her writing on internet trends, style, youth culture, mental health, wellness culture, and identity has been published by The New York Times, Glamour, Self, Teen Vogue, Refinery29, Allure, PS, and many others.
