I Replayed the Harry Potter PS1 Game and It’s Just as Cursed As We Remember

The news about Hogwarts Legacy got me reminiscing about the first time I entered the wizarding world in a game — the infamous Harry Potter PS1 game, and if you grew up in the ’00s as a Harry Potter fan, chances are that you played this cursed game as well. The Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone PS1 game is the source of low-poly Hagrid, who in turn has been an excellent source of nightmare fuel ever since the game came out in 2001.

As a gamer who grew up in the country with limited internet and no EB Games shop nearby, I had a few games that I played relentlessly — this one included. I played it so often that I’d memorised all of its secrets and knew how to complete each puzzle. So I decided to replay the Harry Potter PS1 game now, in 2022, to see if it really is as terrifying as the memes have made it out to be or if it still slaps. It shouldn’t come as any surprise to learn that it really is terrifying — and actually very hilarious to play today.

The game begins with who we’re supposed to believe is Dumbledore narrating the first seven chapters of the book

The gameplay begins on Harry’s first night at Hogwarts. He leaves the Great Hall and is greeted by Dumbledore, who tells him that Hogwarts is full of secrets and encourages him to “search behind every door” but that “not all secrets are rewarding,” including the one hidden on the third floor. At least that part is pretty accurate to the books. You then make your way to the Gryffindor common room where you meet Fred and George, who look like kids’ toys that have melted and been re-set.

The first level involves you and Ron rescuing Hedwig from Malfoy. To do so, you have to climb to the top of a room filled with wizard portraits and platforms but no stairs, fight off poisonous snails and rescue Neville. Once freed, Hedwig brings you a broomstick and Ron shows you “where the Flying lesson is”. This game absolutely races through plot points!

Flying is still the best part of the game

Playing this again just reminded me of Quidditch World Cup, which I maintain is the best sports game that’s ever been made. In case you missed it in 2008: this game lets you play as an international Quidditch team competing for the World Cup. There was even an Australian team! If any game deserves to be remastered, it’s Quidditch World Cup.

Your next class is Charms but first, you have to race a timer to get to class on time (???)

For some reason, there’s an obstacle course of floating tables between you and the classroom. It doesn’t help that the controls are awful. To turn around, you have to either run in a wide arc or stop moving completely to twist on the spot. Jumping only works with some objects and Harry plays out a climbing animation to clamber over them, even if it looks like he should have cleared them completely.

Flitwick’s waiting for you at the finish line and says “You must be Harry Potter. Welcome to Charms class. You’re just in time.” Do all students have to race to class in this version of Hogwarts, or is it just Harry? Does Flitwick wait there for everyone? This game brings up so many questions and provides so few answers.

When you’re finally in class, you learn a spell by pressing a series of buttons in the correct order. If you get it wrong, Flitwick yells that you’re “Not good.”

It’s finally time to meet Hagrid!

On your way to meet Hagrid, you have the option to explore Hogwarts, collect Bertie Bott’s beans and play mini-games to help other students. You also have to fight the first boss of the game — Malfoy, who hurls crackers at you that you have to catch and throw back so that they pop on him in a cartoonish explosion. This fight is tediously long. Once you beat Malfoy he calls in Crabbe for backup and when you beat them, he calls in Goyle. The gameplay never changes. You catch a wizard cracker, throw a wizard cracker, and repeat.

Once you’re finally outside, Hagrid greets you and says “It’s me, Hagrid,” which is actually quite helpful when his face looks like this:

He tells you that Professor Sprout is waiting for you in the greenhouse for your first Herbology lesson, but at this point, I stopped playing. Look, I know we have to be lenient when we’re talking about old games. Games have come so far that it’s hard to believe we were ever impressed by something like the Harry Potter PS1 game. What makes me feel worse is that I remember adoring this game.

To be fair, I preferred the PC version, which is much less monstrous than the PlayStation version. The graphics are better, although the faces never move, even when the characters are talking, so Ron spends the entire game looking like this:

But the Harry Potter PS1 game let me live in what was, at the time, my favourite fictional world, and I loved it for that. It didn’t matter to me that the walls looked like they wobbled every time you moved the camera or that it bastardised the story of the book. I just loved playing my silly little wizard game with my terrifying friend Hagrid. I hope Hogwarts Legacy can live up to that.