Today in “news I could’ve gone my entire life without knowing,” Travis Barker now owns a candle that smells like Kourtney Kardashian’s orgasm, and I’m not entirely sure what to do with this information. The world didn’t quite need another reminder that the two are, in fact, madly in love – what with the lavish Mother’s Day flowers, *that* racy thumb-sucking video, and their myriad of PDA-filled outings – but Travis nevertheless chose to disseminate an additional PSA this week.
On Tuesday, the Blink-182 drummer shared an up-close Instagram Stories snap of a candle that simply reads, “This smells like Kourtney’s orgasm” in all-caps lettering. He provided no caption, no GIFs, no context – just the unfiltered photo of his prized possession, which, might I add, had yet to be ignited at the time. Kourtney reposted it on her IGS soon after to further spread the word.
Where on God’s green earth would one find such a candle, you ask? From Gwyneth Paltrow, of course. It hails from Heretic’s famed collaboration with Goop, which also boasts a similar vagina-scented candle that made headlines early last year. The brands tried to capture the essence of one’s sexual climax by combining tart grapefruit, neroli, ripe cassis berries, gunpowder tea, and Turkish rose, making a scent that’s allegedly “sexy, surprising, and wildly addictive.” I mean, sure – sounds promising enough.
Now, I do have some follow-up questions regarding this NSFW candle. First, did Gwyneth herself gift Travis with it as a way of imparting her blessing on his budding relationship with the eldest Kardashian sister? Is Gwyneth secretly personalising these candles for other celebrity couples? Does it reside in Kourtney or Travis’s home? Does it actually smell as tantalising as it sounds? We may never receive the answers to these pressing queries, but hey, at least we can hop on the waitlist for the sold-out This Smells Like My Orgasm candle, which comes packaged in a fireworks-themed box, natch.
