Asking for Me: How Can a Confidence Coach Actually Make Me More Confident?

Confidence coach. It’s a job title you might’ve heard before, and while you might be able to make some assumptions about it from the name, you probably don’t know much else about it.

I was the same, and so jumped at the opportunity to try one. We scheduled a Zoom call for a Saturday morning. When I dialled in, Anthony Ikin was on the screen, smiling wide. He explained that he was giving me a 60-minute taster session, which he does offer clients to help them tackle a goal, but that he does usually recommend more than one session, which you can buy in packages.

“It all depends on what the person wants,” he said. “And what their budget is.”

For my session, he said, we’d work on ensuring all areas of my life were in flow. He asked me to score each area of my life, including health, work, family, friendships and relationship, 1 to 10. I gave most areas an 8 or higher, apart from relationship, which I was already working on with a therapist.

“People hire confidence coaches, and any coach for that matter, because they’ve recognised within themselves that they need that extra support,” Ikin emailed me, after I sent him some general interview questions after the session.

“They need a bestie or cheerleader to help guide them, keep them accountable for their goals in life and bolster them along the way. A good coach will bring top-tier listening skills to each session, plus their expertise and knowledge, to ensure every session is impactful and effective.”

During my session, Ikin focused on the relationship area of my life, as I’d wanted, and we worked on three affirmations that I could say every morning. He explained that every coach has a different style and different niche, but that his work always involved taking actionable steps, so really wanted to make sure I’d follow through on every action we created.

“I like to work with my clients on understanding what areas of their life they don’t feel confident in, whether it be in their relationship, their financial future, their health and fitness, or their career and then assigning actionable steps they can do every day to shed that old mindset and step into a new and more confident one,” he wrote me after.

“Confidence is like a muscle; it can be worked on, strengthened and improved over time with the right person in your corner.”

I also asked Ikin how a confidence coach is different from a therapist because as I mentioned, I see one too. And logging into the Zoom call, seated at my kitchen bench, it felt not unlike I was starting one of my online therapy sessions. Ikin explained that the qualifications are completely different.

“While confidence coaches do have certifications, much of their expertise comes from their learned life experience,” he says. “That’s why it’s essential for you, when hiring a coach, to understand their journey and what parts inspire you or that you relate to.”

Finally, I asked Ikin what everyone gets wrong about confidence coaches. He wrote that it’s that they don’t provide value and that it they aren’t doing a real job.

“That it’s just wishy-washy, top-level stuff with no substance,” he said. “The coaching industry has a really bad rap because it’s a seemingly effortless industry to get into. Some coaches, without much-learned life experience, charge exorbitant amounts to their clientele and take advantage of the vulnerability of their clients and the hype the industry has.

“But a good coach is worth their weight in gold, and can help you achieve your wildest dreams – if you are open and willing to achieve them.”

As for me, while I didn’t actually start doing the affirmations, I did like that Ikin was there if I needed him. He told me I could send him a text or voice note any time after, and that he often texted and sent voice notes with clients between sessions. Knowing that fact made me feel supported, and like we were in the fixing of my ‘relationship’ area of life together. Which alone did wonders.