The writing I love to do the most is writing that pushes me to look into the things that are happening around me. I like to make observations, and then dig below the surface.
As the lifestyle and fashion writer here at POPSUGAR Australia, I’ve been writing for a living for the past five years, and at POPSUGAR for almost two of those. I write about everything from sex to heartbreak, from fashion trends to best friends and everything in between.
To me, there’s a story in everything; especially when it comes to sex, relationships and just the general human experience. I’ll often be at a friend’s house for dinner, and spark up a conversation with someone I’ve never met before about something deeply personal to them. Call it a skill, call it nosey — but I definitely seem to have a way of getting interesting things out of random people.
Last week I met a straight man who spoke to me at length about how much he enjoys have threesomes with his best guy friend. We got onto the topic of straight men being uncomfortable around each other, and he told me that it was hard for him to get out of his head but that once he did; he found that his friend and him could connect on a deeper level.
“There’s something about watching someone you love have sex, that is just a vibe,” he told me.
That would be a great article, I thought.
Often, when I have these thoughts, questions, topics or excerpts of a conversation that float through my mind — usually just before bed — I need to find people that have experience in these areas and can help me to better understand them from different perspectives.
Recently, I’ve been crowdsourcing people from Instagram. I’ll come up with a story idea and put a shout-out on my Instagram story, for anyone who has had that experience and feels comfortable sharing about it. At first, I did it out of necessity — but now, it’s become my go-to.
Although I only have 3.2k followers, I get a surprising amount of responses. I’m constantly pleasantly surprised by how many people are willing to be open about their experiences, especially when they’re people I don’t know or have never met before.
I recently wrote an article about the intensity of falling in love overseas, and was overwhelmed by the stories people told me. There was no holding back. One guy — who I’ve only met once — told me about his affair overseas and how much it impacted him and his relationship, so much so, in fact, that he hasn’t been in another relationship since. Another girl told me that she’d fallen in love with an Italian man, moved to Italy and totally lost herself. She spoke of the manipulation and gender-shaming she experienced, and all I could think about was how privileged I was to be trusted with her truth; her story.
This exchange between someone telling me their raw experiences and me, writing it down and publishing it, feels like I’ve been given a gift.
I learn so much from these (sometimes) strangers on the internet, who trust me with their stories. Their experiences impact me and open me up to conversations with people that I would not have in an ordinary, everyday life.
I believe that the magic of stories is that we can learn so much from other’s experiences. By reading other people’s stories, you can relate to them, you can recognise something in your own life that you perhaps didn’t see before. They can help you to understand yourself and others in a fuller way.
It’s also really encouraged me to tell my own story, as it unfolds. There’s nothing more valuable than sharing your experience with others — you never know how many people you touch, let alone the healing it allows for you.
So yes, being a writer is a job that sees me at my laptop all day, punching out stories and publishing them for the world to read. But it’s so much more than that. It’s about pushing boundaries, seeking what lies under the surface, and encouraging people to open up, not be afraid, own their experiences and share how they’ve been impacted by them.
Because what is being a writer if you’re not telling stories that make people feel seen, right? Or at least, that’s my dream.
