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Anal sex is often this big elephant in the room; you know it’s an option, but you don’t want to talk about it because it’s kind of intimidating.
I’ll be honest, I’ve only had anal sex once, and it wasn’t my favourite. Although I’m definitely open to trying it again, there’s a part of me that feels super protective of my butt hole. It just feels like so many things could go wrong!
But, according to Lovehoney sexologist Chantelle Otten, how I feel towards anal sex makes sense.
“Many of our first-time anal sex experiences are accidental or ill-prepared for, at best, giving a poor first-time impression of all things anally sexually,” says Lovehoney sexologist Chantelle Otten.
“Many couples don’t tend to talk about anal play, and, as individuals, we’re often quick to write it off, especially if we’ve had a bad experience in the past.”
That being said, it’s important to keep an open mind when it comes to sex. So, whether you’re trying anal for the first time, or you’re ready to revisit it, Chantelle Otten shares four things to know about it beforehand.
Get Clean
It goes without saying that if you’re sexually stimulating an area that’s usually devoted to pooping, you will need to ensure that your anus is squeaky clean.
Have a relaxing bath beforehand and thoroughly clean the area. Many butt sex beginners like to use an anal douche to guarantee complete and utter cleanliness, and put their minds at ease. If you’re conscious about your lover seeing your anus in full for the first time, why not gently shave or wax the skin between your butt cheeks? You’ll be surprised how much more relaxed and confident this will make you feel.
Use Lube
Don’t even think about attempting any form of anal penetration without using some form of lube. There’s a raft of great lubes available for you to buy but the best ones are the thick, specially formulated anal lubricants.
Start Small
To keep things easy breezy, begin with some anal exploration, using anal toys or your lover’s fingers as a great way to explore. Beginner’s butt plugs are a popular choice for bum-funnery.
Using a small toy prior to play warms up the area, familiarises your anus with the feeling of penetration and helps to relax the muscles. Your lover should start by lubing up the plug or their finger and start off with the tip, then gently work their finger or plug in until it is submerged. You should continue to do this with up to three fingers or by going from a smaller to a larger butt plug, but only if you’re still feeling comfortable and pleasured. Don’t forget to use lube on each finger you insert.
If and when you’re ready, you can move up to larger insertables, such as a dildo or a penis. Just remember to take your time, and keep any thrusting slow, and gentle. You may decide you like it harder or faster later, but for now, keep things simple while you find out what you like.
Clean Up
After each time you’ve finished having anal sex, make sure that you thoroughly clean your anus and the toy or body part used to penetrate. A good wipe with these Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy & Body Wipes should leave you feeling fresh again, but a quick shower with your lover is even better. If you used any toys, remember to give them a thorough clean with soap and water or a sex toy cleaner and store them separately once dry.
