Truthfully, I’ve only ever squirted once. And it was by accident.
I’ve tried to replicate it since, both in solo play and with a sexual partner, with no luck. I’ve even asked my friends about it.
“I sometimes can and sometimes can’t,” says my friend Bree, “but I have no idea what causes it or like, how it actually works.”
I think lots of women feel this way about squirting. It’s like this magical porn star status of release, creating visible female ejaculation and accompanied by seemingly the best orgasms ever.
So naturally, we want to know how to do it. Or if everyone even can?
We chatted to Lovehoney Ambassador and Sex and Relationship Therapist, Christine Rafe, to get the tea.
What Actually Is Squirting?
“The term ‘squirting’ refers to the expulsion of fluid from the urethra during sexual activity or stimulation,” Rafe tells POPSUGAR Australia.
“Usually, but not always, it caused by combined g-spot and clitoral stimulation.”
The fluid is typically clear or slightly milky, may be odourless of have a faint smell, and can vary from a small amount through to squirting or gushing, according to Rafe.
“Made up of urea, creatine, and uric acid — components of urine — fluid from the Skene’s gland and vaginal lubricant, the release of fluid during squirting is thought to be the result of increased pressure within the Skene’s glands and the surrounding tissues,” explains Rafe.
It’s important to note that squirting is not the same as orgasm, she adds, and these two processes can happen together or separately.
So, Can You Teach Yourself to Do It?
It’s not a done deal that every person with a vagina can squirt, says Rafe, but there’s also not much evidence to suggest that it’s not posisble.
“What we do know about pleasure, is that the more a person explores their body and different ways of experiencing pleasure, the more potential for different types of pleasure to elicit body responses like orgasm and squirting.”
That being said, there’s really only one thing to do! And that is to try it out for yourself — if you’re curious.
How Can You Make Yourself Squirt?
Rafe has given us some suggestions of things to try below, if you’re interested in exploring how to squirt. These could be explored on your own, or with a partner.
Stimulation
Spend time becoming aroused — Rafe recommends at least 15-20 minutes — using both external and internal stimulation that feels pleasurable for you.
“Focus on dual external clitoral stimulation internal clitoral stimulation,” she says.
You can get dual stimulation with a toy like the Womanizer Duo 2, which would be perfect if you’re going solo. Or, if you’re exploring with a partner, you could use an external stimulation toy — such as the Womanizer Premium 2 — paired with internal stimulation using a penis and/or fingers.
“Stimulate the g-spot using shallow penetration with a penis, in a position like missionary — or two fingers that stimulate the g-spot using a come-hither motion,” Rafe suggests.
Relax Your Pelvic Muscles
According to Rafe, relaxing the pelvic floor is integral, as it allows for the release of the fluid.
Don’t Put Pressure on Yourself
Much like everything, if you put too much pressure on a specific outcome — it’s less likely to happen. Especially in a context like this, where relaxing your body and pelvic floor is so important.
“Putting pressure on yourself for an outcome can have the opposite effect and make it more difficult to squirt,” reiterates Rafe.
“If we are too in our head thinking about what we want to happen, we are less embodied in the pleasure.”
What Should Squirting Feel Like?
Rafe says that the experience of squirting can vary widely from person to person.
“Some people describe it as a powerful and intense release of sexual tension, while others report feeling more relaxed and euphoric after squirting,” she says.
“It can sometimes be aligned with orgasm, although they are two separate experiences.”
According to Rafe, some vulva owners experience a sense of embarrassment or shame due to the social stigma surrounding squirting and misconceptions about what it is, which can make it difficult for them to enjoy the experience fully.
A common myth around squirting is that it’s actually all urine. There’s also a lack of representation around this experience outside of porn, which can make it scary to experience for the first time with someone else.
“It’s important to remember that squirting is a natural part of sexual expression and that there is no shame in exploring your own sexuality in a safe and consensual way.”
