5 Not-So-Obvious Signs They’re Really Into You, According to a Love Coach

Sometimes, they’re just not that into you. And yeah, it hurts, but wouldn’t you rather know before you lose yourself in a one-sided relationship?

“No matter how long you’ve been in the dating game, it’s hard to tell whether someone is really into you or not,” relationships and love coach, Dr. Lurve, tells POPSUGAR Australia.

“There are signals you try to read and conversations you might over-analyse — but in a world of mixed signals, it’s still difficult to get a grasp on where you stand.”

But though it can often feel hard to get a read on a person, there definitely are ways for you to tell if they’re interested in you, Dr. Lurve assures us.

“Whether it be your first date or the first month of dating, there are ways people tell you exactly how they feel about you without even saying a word.”

Ahead, Dr. Lurve shares five ways you can tell if someone is really into you (or not so into you).

They Initiate Conversations

When you’re constantly the one always starting conversations, texting “good morning”, or always feeling like you must keep leading the in-person conversation into deeper subjects, that’s when you know they aren’t into you. However, if the conversation starters are mutual, that’s a good sign they are loving getting to know you and are keen to continue doing so.

They Want to Know About Your Life

We’ve all dated that person who doesn’t shut up about themselves and never asks about your own life. When you’re dating someone who is genuinely interested in your story, they’ll listen with intent and ask you questions that prompt more information. They’ll want to know all about your friends, your family, the things that you’re passionate about and make you excited — and they’ll show interest in being a part of the things that mean a lot to you.

Good Body Language

Being on a date, it’s important to show your affection for someone and your interest in them. Their body language will show you they’re wanting to know more; either through having an open-arm stance, keeping eye contact, or smiling at you throughout the conversation. So, if your date is doing things like stroking your arm, laughing at your jokes and smiling at you, you know they’re really interested. In fact, you can actually find someone more attractive when they’re happy and constantly smiling while around you — with research from SmileDirectClub suggesting over 30% of Aussies find a smile the most attractive feature on a prospective partner. So, if they’re smiling at you, that’s a good sign.  

They Aren’t Afraid to Show Up For You

Whether you need a helping hand with a home project or want to bring them over to meet the family, someone who’s really into you won’t hesitate to get involved in your daily life and show up for you. On the other hand, someone who isn’t into you will find excuses not to meet your family or friends, as well as avoid being seen in public with you — it can also show they may have a few other partners happening at the same time and don’t want to run into them with you… awkward!

They Will Talk Openly About Their Future

Someone who’s keen to get things moving with you and sees a future with you isn’t afraid to talk about what that might look like. They want to continue smiling and being happy with you, so they aren’t worried about commitment-focused topics, like taking a holiday together or even what life may look like 5 years down the track. For someone that isn’t quite into you, they’ll hate talking about the future and want to change the subject quickly — they’ll be sending you red flags that scream commitment-phobe, so don’t ignore them.