Text or Voice Note? What Your Digital Love Language Says About You

There are said to be five love languages that define us and are what we respond to best in a relationship: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time and physical touch. But what about if your relationship is blossoming online?

Well, you could say that all of these IRL love languages can actually be transferred to the digital world. For example, making a playlist for someone could be considered an act of service, while sending someone a text about how good they looked in their Instagram Story could be considered as words of affirmation.

As a self-professed old-school romantic, I often roll my eyes at the idea of digital romance. How can a text message ever replace a beautiful person whispering a sweet nothing into my actual ear? Digital love languages can, however, be just as romantic. I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t swooned over an online message and plus, this is the age of digital romance. It’s time to get on board.

Below, I’ve broken down some common digital love languages and what they say about the person behind them so that you can understand yourself and anyone you date a bit better.

The Instagram Story Love-Hearter

A slightly more passive love language, someone who is actively engaging with your social media updates is someone you know cares about your every day life. It’s a more consistent, background love, but it can be super reassuring to know that they’re just there, taking notice of you. This digital love language is super important at the start of a relationship, however, it’s important not to read into it too much. Someone who interacts with your social media will most likely do it from the very start of your relationship, and is someone who spends a lot of time in the online sphere.

The Thoughtful Texter

Your phone buzzes. You flip it over and glance down at the lock screen, to a single unopened message. “Thinking about you rn”, it says. You blush. Now you’re thinking about them, too. Someone who texts you at random, unprovoked moments throughout the day to say something thoughtful or romantic or sweet, is someone who is into giving words of affirmation. It’s also someone who isn’t shy to say how they’re feeling and wears their heart on their sleeve. They have emotional maturity and will always be honest and upfront about where they’re at.

The Curated Playlist Maker

In an old-school romantic gesture like no other, the person who makes you a curated playlist is really thoughtful and not afraid to be vulnerable. They likely connect strongly with music and use it as a way of communicating themselves to you. The songs they choose — which will hopefully be a combination of songs they think you’d like and songs that they really like and give you an insight into who they are — will tell you a lot about the kind of relationship they want.

The Voice Noter

This person would prefer to talk to you out loud than over a text message. They feel as though they can communicate better with spoken words, rather than something written. This is a person who loves conversation, who is a great listener and who likes to feel connected to others. This is very much the opposite of someone who won’t text you back for, like, a week, and then pretend everything is normal.

The Photo Commenter

This is a person who wants to make their feelings known. They might comment a “?” on a photo you posted, or write something sweet like “ooft” or “hi”, showing that they’re pretty smitten with you. Not only do they want you to be aware of what they’re thinking and feeling — specifically while gazing at a cute piccie of you — but they want all your followers, friends and fam to know it too. Consider this lover as someone who will likely be into a healthy dollop of PDA.

The FaceTimer

This person wants to see you, even if you’re not physically with them! This digital love language shows someone who really enjoys physical touch and feels connected when looking into someone’s eyes or noticing the quirks of how their face moves when they talk. At the start of a relationship this can feel full on, but going with it could see a super strong connection build. Alternatively, this is an amazing way to connect with a long-distance partner.