You’ll Know You’re a “Real” Adult When You Accept These 25 Truths

Relationships fail, people can be jerks, you can’t always get what you want, and at some point in your life, you will have to stand outside in the pouring rain without an umbrella. Accept the fact that life isn’t always easy, but draw strength from the knowledge that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and the hard stuff makes you appreciate the good things even more.

It’s a trade-off, so deal with it. If it’s any consolation, it’s usually worth it.

You’re not a kid anymore, and no one is going to run behind you with a broom sweeping up your messes – nor should they. If you make a mistake, it’s your obligation to rectify the mistake. As long as you’re willing to admit it and embrace the consequences as yours and yours alone, then it’s totally within your capabilities to make things right, too.

Related: 31 Things You Need to Start Doing For Yourself in Your 20s

Unwritten law of the universe: Any remotely attractive photo taken of a person getting their license will be secretly and immediately destroyed. The picture will be retaken until the end result is nothing short of cringeworthy.

Some people don’t even always deserve it. And it’s never easy to do. And sometimes you give someone the benefit of the doubt, and it ends up blowing up in your face. But the best thing ever is when you give someone a chance, reserve your judgement, and realize there’s a damn good reason for the way they are. You will definitely learn something more about them in the process, and you will probably figure some stuff out about yourself too.

Scary, right? The control you have over what happens to you can be both liberating and utterly terrifying. Do with it what you will – but you are the puppet master of your own play, so make it interesting, make it good, and make it something you can be proud of.

There’s a fine line between changing your mind and changing who you are. Toe it with caution, and remember that nothing is worth compromising your core beliefs, even if it may seem like it will make your life easier at the time.

You (and only you) can determine what success really means, because it differs from person to person. Maybe some days success is just making it out of bed, maybe other days it’s parachuting out of plane. You get to decide.

And there’s nothing you can do about it, so don’t try. The good news is that the world is also full of really amazing people, too. So hang on to the good ones really tightly, and forget about the rest.

About life, that is. It’s obviously valuable for countless logical reasons – getting a degree, broadening your horizons, teaching you how to fill in a tiny circle by the letters “A, B, C, or D,” etc., etc. Still, it’s just a tip of the iceberg and once you’ve left your 20s behind, it’s easier to place your education in the box where it belongs and continue checking off other ones that aren’t yet complete.

The older you get, the more complicated your relationships become. It’s easy to fall in love, but it isn’t always easy to stay in the same place you fell. Love is a choice you make every day, to love or not to love, to try or not to try, to work at it or not to work at it.

Sometimes you are fighting a losing battle with a person, and the best thing you can is bow out of the situation. As you get older, you get better at knowing when to recognize this and at making the (difficult) choice of just letting go.

Money isn’t magical. It can help with some of the more immediate problems, true, but you have to work through the real sh*t to be happy in life, and those things, more often than not, aren’t money-related.

Your problems are real, but they are not the only problems. Everyone lives in their own worlds, but it’s essential to understand and acknowledge all the other worlds around you. It helps keeps things in perspective.

No matter how big people talk, things rarely live up to the hype. But sometimes you have to weed through the mediocre to get to the really good stuff, so never shy away from a new opportunity. Approach new experiences with the expectations of a realist, but the hopes of an idealist.

You can’t make everybody happy, so don’t even try. The harder you to try to please people, the more you forget to focus on your own happiness – and your happiness matters! Be kind, be considerate, but know that not everyone is going to like what you do or say, or even who you are, and that’s totally OK.

Thinking of yourself first isn’t necessarily synonymous with being selfish. Sometimes your immediate needs or wants take precedence over someone else’s – and there’s nothing wrong with that. The key is knowing how to recognize when and where to exercise this luxury.

Someone is always going to have something you want, and you’re always going to have something someone else wants. See the conundrum here? The grass isn’t always greener, and worrying about what could be will drive you insane.

All change is not bad change, even if it’s ridiculously hard at first. Still, don’t feel bad if you hate it, because it’s not always right, and change for the sake of change is not always a good enough reason to make big moves.

You’re not getting any younger, and your bucket list isn’t getting any shorter. Start crossing sh*t off, like, now.

You don’t always know if what you’re doing is right. We’re all just winging it most of the time anyway, so at the very least, it should be a comfort knowing that even if you’re clueless, you’re not alone.

Though your 20s are arguably the decade you grow and change the most, it doesn’t mean that you are done becoming who you ultimately want to be when you leave them. Nobody’s perfect, and we should all be open to change. If there’s something you don’t like, there’s always time to do what you need to do to get to a place where you really love yourself.

Don’t be a hero. You can’t always be that young college student cramming for a test, and pulling an all-nighter will probably do more harm than good in the long run. Sleep. The world will not end if you do.

You can have A LOT! You can have amazing things, you can do almost anything, and your life can be what you make it. But you can’t have it ALL – no one can. So aim high, but not so high that you make yourself miserable trying to live up to unattainable expectations.

You’re probably doing better than you think you are. When you see analyze things microscopically, you’ll probably find a lot more wrong than if you take a step back, look at the big picture, and see all you’ve accomplished.