Given that I write about love, sex and relationships for a living, it’s to be expected that almost every sexy trend finds its way onto my TikTok feed. This would explain why, throughout the past few weeks, it’s been impossible to avoid the “vabbing” trend.
“Vabbing” is a term coined by Gen Zers that refers to dabbing your puswa (a cute word for vagina) juices onto the spots you’d usually wear your perfume — like behind your ears and on your wrists — to help you attract potential lovers. Basically, you wear your pheromones as a perfume.
While some absolutely swear by it, others are grossed out by it — which in my opinion, is a whole separate issue. Here’s why: it’s one thing to be surprised by something as extreme as explicitly using your Va-J-J juices to attract someone to you, but there’s nothing to be grossed out about. Our juices are a part of us, they keep us clean and healthy down there and they’re actually an extremely important part of us vulva owners being able to enjoy sex.
So, to recap, there are the users that have “lost faith in humanity” over vabbing, there are the vabbing advocates and there are even some experts, who have come out on TikTok with more educated opinions.
This now viral TikTok of Gynecologist @karentangmd makes a good point. She says “if someone is only interested in you because you smell like meow meow juice, do you really want anything to do with that person?”. We say: it depends on what you’re looking for that night, Karen. However, she does say that although it isn’t necessary; there’s no harm in it either.
That being said, I’ve taken it upon myself to conduct my own investigation into vabbing; just to see what — if anything — happens. I’m also going to be chatting to a medical researcher, to get some facts to back up my experiences.
So, here goes. I secretly vabbed for three days and went about my life as per.
This is what happened.
Day 1
As I left the house on day one, I felt this sense of excitement, like, what was going to happen? Would everyone be able to smell me from a mile away? Would people on the tram notice?
I’ve had mixed feedback about my puswa juices from past lovers. One told me that it smelt super strong, and I still feel a pang of classic female shame every time I remember that moment. No one really wants a “strong” smelling vagina. Most of my other lovers, however, have told me that it smells sweet; which I much prefer. In any case, I don’t feel ashamed about how I smell down there anymore (that ex was an a**hole, tbh).
The day was pretty normal. I definitely felt a little sexier than usual. I think that was because I felt I was carrying around a little dirty secret, which has always been a bit of a turn-on for me.
While this makes sense, I also feel like perhaps there’s something horny in your own scent. Just think about when you’re masturbating, the smell that coincides with you being turned on, getting wet and even having an orgasm, is really just the distinct smell of your puss juices. Perhaps that’s a form of conditioning, recognising your own smell as a turn on, but it makes sense.
Anyway, I spent the rest of the day really feeling myself. I also seemed to find literally every person attractive that day (you know those days?), but I can’t be sure if it was just me looking for sexy vibes, or if I was just really feeling myself and therefore, feeling other people.
“They haven’t done enough studies to prove whether your own pheromones can turn you on,” my friend and medical researcher Roberto Pettinau told me later, when I revealed my secret mission to him days after I trialled the viral TikTok trend.
“Being turned on by your own scent is more visceral type of sexy, and doesn’t really have anything to do with the actual pheromonal action. Just the knowledge that you’ve ‘vabbed’ could be a turn-on to you, rather than the actual smell.”
Day 2
On day two, I vabbed before I went out for drinks and a dance with my friend and, let me tell you; it was enlightening!
Again, I put it on all my perfume pressure points; behind the ears and on my wrists. I was wearing a turtleneck, so I was worried that perhaps my “vabbing” scent wouldn’t be as strong. But I needn’t have worried.
I was out with is one of my best friends and together, we always have a flirty fun time. But this night was off the charts. When I say men came flocking, I am not exaggerating. There were men I knew giving me hugs and kisses on the cheek and saying that I looked great, but there were men I didn’t know, just kind of hovering around us. One legit said to me “you just smell so good”, when I asked why he was standing so close to me.
Now, that’s not to say it had anything to do with my vabbing — men hover around women in dance venues at the best of times — but surely it can’t be a total coincidence?
I felt slightly exposed, being around my friend and other people I knew. Part of me was afraid that they’d be like “what is that smell!?”, but none of them acted any differently towards me. If anything, everyone was more touchy-feely than usual.
“There are a lot of studies on people liking the smell of others,” says Pettinau. “Overall, we like the smell of people that have a ‘complementary’ genetic make up to ourselves.”
“For example, if a woman was missing the gene to break down lactose, she would be attracted to the smell of someone who could chug a litre of milk a day and be fine — in other words; someone with high lactose tolerance.
“We obviously don’t know what we’re missing, until we smell it. Sometimes it’s apparent straight away, while other times, it would be more obvious during sex, or where their pheromones are heightened.”
So basically, it’s possible those strangers who were gravitating towards me that night were attracted to me by my pheromones. They smelt something in me that they’re technically “missing”, and they were attracted to it.
Wow. We really are animals, aren’t we?
Day 3
Day three, I started to feel a bit rundown. That dreadful cold going around had finally got me and I could feel a sore throat and slightly wheezy chest coming on. But I couldn’t back down on the investigation now! I decided to try it out at home, with my boyfriend.
I woke up to my cat Daphne meowing for some food at 7am, so I got up to feed her. While I was up, I went to the bathroom and vabbed. I thought, f*k it, why not!? Let’s see what happens.
Sure enough, when my boyfriend woke up a few hours later, it was on. Now, I won’t go into all the sexy details (I’ve got to keep some things to myself, gosh), but I will say that we had more sex in one session than we have in ages.
“Vabbing would work for someone who already liked your smell,” Pettinau told me.
“Someone who you’ve had sex with before would recognise the smell of your pheromones unconsciously, and it would likely turn them on.”
But it didn’t just affect my boyfriend, I felt sexier too.
The fact I’ve felt truly sexy on each day that I’ve vabbed has been the biggest takeaway from this (amateur) investigation. And sure, feeling attractive absolutely has the power to make you attractive to others; therefore making it extremely difficult to determine whether or not vabbing actually works. I can, however, assure you that has been a truly educational experience.
Who knows, I might even dabble again in vabbing for fun sometime. Imagine how much we could save on perfume, ladies!
